Dead authors all over the world are tonight turning in their graves at the news that Kanye West is to publish a book. "Surely this can't be that much of a literary disaster, morons from all walks of life have been publishing ghostwritten autobiographies about their pathetic non-interesting lives for years" I hear you say.
But wait, this is no regular feat of arseholery- it's Kanye West we're talking about! His book is a collection of 'Kanye-isms': "creative, humorous and insightful philosophies and anecdotes used in creating his path to success ."
What's worse: "Kanye delivers his personal message uncensored, without any five-second delay or media distortion."
Based on his tried and tested model for musical output, we can expect his creative insightful and original philosophies to go along the lines of: 'how many roads does a man walk down before you can call him a man' & 'I don't care too much for money cause money can't buy me love' (For full effect, liberally insert the words 'bitch' and 'kanye west' into the previous sentences).





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