5 Second Review: Indiana Jones & The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

In possibly the most anticipated movie of the year, Henry Jones Jr. returns to our screens with Shia LeBeouf attempting to fill a Sean Connery shaped void. Will it live up to the (probably ridiculous) expectations?

There's no major spoilers in this review, but just in case, I'll put it in the read more.


  • Indiana Jones rocks.
  • Spielberg is probably physically incapable of making a 'bad' movie.
  • Pretty decent action, and a fair few chase scenes.
  • Some mild horror, along the lines of Temple of Doom, which was nice.
  • Cate Blanchett is great as always.
  • Shia LeBeouf is surprisingly good. Not annoying, and plays the actual character rather than just Shia LeBeouf in a leather jacket.
  • Some of the humor is spot on.
  • Cobwebs, Skeletons, Maps, Riddles... cool.

  • The Crystal Skull thing doesn't really work. It seems a bit of a step too far towards sci-fi.
  • The 'I'm too old for this shit' lines were a tad unnecessary.
  • But he possibly is too old for this shit.
  • The excellent Jim Broadbent is wasted in a tiny, tiny role.
  • My main beef: far too self-aware throughout, which immediately ruins all Spielberg & Lucas' attempts to 'keep it traditional'.
  • The cinematography is also a mile away from that of the original trilogy. Too artsy!
  • S & L's assertions that they were staying away from CGI also turned out to be absolute crap.
  • All this and I still enjoyed the movie- only at the very last scene did I think 'Oh, COME ON!!'

This is really a 3/5 movie, but from me it'll get 4/5 cause it's Indy. It is really enjoyable, but a tad too silly at times. I know, I know, so were the other ones... so maybe this movie's biggest disadvantage is the fact that I'm not 12 anymore.

'This modern world' may have popped the Indy-bubble: I've got too cynical and he's got too ironic. How sad...

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May 24, 2008 at 12:59 PM Seán said...

i would agree with 3/5. it was very: really? are they actually still doing this?

May 24, 2008 at 4:36 PM Beacon said...

I would not give it 3/5 more like a 2. Very poor overall. Poor CGI which they claim is not even CG. Who are they kidding. Wodden from most of the cast in places and an ending that would be far more suited to StarWars. Overall very poor indeed.