10 Things I Learned In Canada

1. Maple Syrup does, in fact, go with everything. As does Lobster.
   


2. One should never fly Globespan. Cheap airfares aren't worth it when stuck with them for ten hours or more.
   


3. On the other hand one should always, if possible, fly Air Canada. It should really only be a matter of time before all aircraft on all airlines have personal entertainment systems on each seat, as they're amazing. Air Canada have a TV screen per person with what's basically a hard drive packed with movies, TV shows & games galore. Awesome.


4. Casinos, while seemingly a great idea at one in the morning when pissed, are in fact awful, depressing places.


5. Particularly Casinos that don't allow you to continue drinking, instead restricting alcohol consumption to a small bar area with no gambling. What, do they hate money?


6. George Carlin is alive and well, driving a cab in Niagara Falls.


7. Canada is famed as a safe place to be (thank you, Michael Moore), and on first inspection certainly seems as much. Does this mean that things like this & this only happen when I'm in the neighbourhood? Worryingly, when Conor & I inter-railed a couple of years back we seemed to drag a colossal flood behind us. Maybe I'm cursed?
   


8. When going to see Evil Dead: The Musical, one should only sit towards the front of the theatre if eager to get absolutely drenched in blood & gore.


9. Canadian cigarettes have vile pictures of diseased lungs, etc. on the packets- which are frustratingly effective. Duty free- wasted!


10. McDonalds in Canada is shockingly decent.