Rant from Mark Kermode on foreign accents in film, which was incited by Valkyrie (which i have seen and is an ok film but i walked away from it and the only think i could think of was what was with the accents)

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Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson are two hitmen sent to a small town in Belgium called Bruges to lie low after a job gone wrong. Gleeson's into the sight-seeing. Farrell thinks Bruges is a shit hole.
Pros:

• Colin Farrell at his best.
• Brendan Gleeson at his best
• Lots of swearing
• Lots of violence
• Great lines
• Dwarfs
• Very very funny

Cons:

• At times some of the acting seems a little laboured
• Sometimes it gets a little too soppy and soul-searching
• Ralph Fiennes, while excellent, plays more or less the same character that Ben Kingsley played in 'Sexy Beast' (which is also awesome).
• Thats pretty much it really, the movies great.

For those not fond of strong violence, hard drug use and liberal use of the C and F words (thats cunt and fuck in case you didn't know) then avoid like the plague but for anyone who isn't a complete and total prude then check out the first movie in ages that shows us Irish for the loveable rogues that we are. "THEY'RE FILMING MIDGETS"

Click below to see the trailers and a couple of clips

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More than a year after its state-side release that the poster above suggests. In fairness I always knew that Grindhouse was going to be a flop. The concept was a little bit too out there and "Nudge Nudge" for mass audiences (especially US ones) to digest satisfactorily but having been lucky enough to have seen the proper version of it I can tell you that its a hell of a lot more satisfying to see the proper version than it is to see the extended versions of "Planet Terror" and "Deathproof" seperately.



Anyway, despite the fact that the full version of the movie didn't get shown theatrically over here, Tarantino and Rodriguez are taking it on a roadtrip and it will screen in the IFI on the 18th and 19th of April. There are many of you who will have seen the split versions of the movies and will say "whats the point?" to this but there are those of us who know the difference between watching a movie and watching a movie as it was intended and it is for those people that the screenings are intended.

What you will also see in the full version is a series of "fake" trailers directed by Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead), Eli Roth (Hostel), Rob Zombie (um...Rob Zombie) and this non-existent classic below directed by Rodriguez himself which are almost as good as the main features



Oh and the directors won't actually be there but hey what else is new?

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So hot on the heels of his successful return to his Rocky character Stallone brings back the other franchise that helped make him a household name in the 80's.

So whats the actual title?
Well first it was Rambo IV: In the Serpents Eye then it was Rambo IV then it became John Rambo and then finally for some reason its been changed to just plain and simple Rambo. Because this won't make people think that this is the first installment.

Scroll down for more and more and more



Why would they think that?
Okay. Here are the name of the four Rambo movies in chronological order: First Blood, Rambo: First Blood Part II, Rambo III, Rambo. Little confusing about which is which? Maybe.

Whats the story?
A group of American missionary types try to go into Burma to help some poor people to....blah blah blah...skip to the end...Rambo kills lots of people.

So how's the violence?
Lashings of it. Lashings and lashings and lashings of it. Bodies explode. Body parts get separated from their bodies. Blood from bodies spray over other bodies and sometimes the camera.

Will I get an erection?
Probably if you're asking that question. You won't believe that bullets can actually tear bodies apart in the manner that they do in this film. There might even be a few penises flying around in there as well. Who knows.

So is it any good?
That question is completely irrelevant in this case. What you should be asking me is: Bang bang bang? The answer to which is a resounding Bang Bang BANG!!!!!

Take a look at the trailer. That should give you a sampling.

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Anybody who hasn't read this savage book by Mikhail Bulgakov then here's a good incentive for you to do it as it appears they are making it into a film.

The plot revolves around The Devil (yes THE Devil) coming to Moscow and basically causing all sorts of fucking weird shit but all told in an absurdly surreal and darkly humurous manner.

Nobody is attached to star or direct yet but its been produced by Scott Steindorff who is also responsible for The Human Stain (Anthony Hopkins plays a black man. He can do anything that guy) and Love in the Time of Cholera (another adaptation of a splendid book, showing in The Dublin film festival this week and one reason I'm sorry that I'm boycotting it).

Go get reading.

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