For those of you who make their decision about whether to go to a festival or not based solely on the line-up...well...Oxegen tickets go on sale in a while so you don't need to read any further.
Stop!
Now!
For those of you who look on festivals as an experience, a chance to meet deadly people, an opportunity to hear savage music that you've never heard before and have accepted the fact that no matter how much you plan, the chances are there's alwasy going to be some band or other that you wanted to see that you will miss due to some reason or another........well Glastonbury is the place for you.
The fact that I actually have to try and sell this to people is depressing but if you have an open mind then get yourself to this farm in Somerset come June. The only artist confirmed so far is Neil Diamond but if this, to you, is a deterrant I would remind you that there are over 1000 other acts playing so the oppurtunity is there to avoid Mr.Diamond in many different ways.
Registration is easy. You go here, put in your details and then come April you'll get to battle with the rest of us to try and get one of 200,000 tickets. Its not actually as difficult as it sounds and I can assure you that its more than bloody worth it. Glastonbury has been host to some absolutely legendary artists and performances. One of which was Pulp in 1995 who filled in for The Stone Roses after John Squire broke his collar bone. Evidence here:
Glastonbury registration opens today
Shit 80's Rock Rapes Pulp Literature - Capturings of a Stream of Consciousness.
While browsing through the bargain bins of some second hand book store or other, I came across a trashy pulp novel from the 1970's called "A Date with Destiny" by a Canadian author called Friedrich Krenshaw. An immigrant from Austria after the war he wrote one novel and died alone and penniless. The fact that one of a limited number of copies ended up in a bargain bin in Dublin was surprising enough but after reading the opening passage of the opening chapter it occured to me that more than just a burgeoning Writing Career had been stolen from Mr Krenshaw. Almost every word in the opening paragraph was then adopted by an awful band from the 80's. Here I reprint every stolen word:
"A Foreigner from somewhere in Asia or Europe, probably close to Berlin decided to Go West. He took a Journey to America and landed in Chicago where he got a Rush from seeing all The Cars and The Police. He soon found himself in Dire Straits when he took a walk down Skid Row where he saw many folk Living in a Box but being a Survivor of an attack by a Def Leppard (Sic!)he thought nothing of it. He passed a Motley Crue of Men Without Hats who were shooting up INXS. A Poison. One of them offered him a Jellybean which was a Cheap Trick because sure enough Wham!!! and he was on the floor. As they proceeded to Squeeze the Air Supply out of him he looked around at the Stray Cats as above him A Flock of Seagulls Soared. As he died he saw a Rainbow."
Who knows how many novels in that bargain bin had been pillaged by hacks. Perhaps the same could be true for the 90's. How Pop Will Eat Itself could fit in a novel I'd like to see.
